The Rules for New York Broadcasters

One of the subtle joys of living in the New York market is being subjected to their world-class sports announcers.  Whether it's listening to Walt Frazier of the Knicks' using (and often misusing) the biggest words that he is able to pronounce, or drying tears while listening to what the Yankees' Suzyn Waldman has to say, New York broadcasters are notoriously bad.  Typically, the least of my concerns are the stars of Mets TV games on SNY.

However, with the start of the Phillies-Mets series this week, I have been forced by blackout restrictions to listen to them babble incoherently over my baseball game. Along side of play-by-play guy Gary Cohen are two former Mets, who also happen to be some of the least-informed commentators of all time--Keith Hernandez and Ron Darling.

Now as I mentioned, normally I leave SNY alone because it is the least of my concerns when ridiculing New York sports. But in last night's game, the trio along with their network, laid a spectacular egg. Less than a year earlier, Big League Stew anointed them as one of the best groups in the business. Remarkable. But it got me to thinking, what are the rules for New York Broadcasters? I'll go through the highlights of Tuesday night's performance to give an example of each:

1. Exaggerate Facts - Every good New Yorker knows stats don't tell the whole story unless they are skewed in favor of New York. Case in point, on Tuesday's broadcast, Gary Cohen tossed up this gem about Raul Ibanez: "He's got two and a half more years left on his contract." (In reality, Ibanez has just over a year and half remaining on his current deal). Later in the game, he compared Luis Castillo to Jerry Rice on a catch.

2. Pretend it's Game Seven - If not for the millions of fans in the New York area, who would tune in to games? In order to make sure that fans stay interested, Cohen and his crew are notorious for saying things like "here comes the tying run to the plate for a showdown" in the second inning of games. But they suffer from the same syndrome as Chip Caray; if every play is called like a game winning play, then what happens when there actually is a dramatic moment?

3. Keep the Fans Coming Back - I was in the middle of making this list when a perfect example was handed to me for fan engagement. Keeping in mind that this is a three game series, a commercial in the middle of the sixth inning for the Mets said "Tomorrow night the Mets go for the series win against the Phillies!" Granted the Mets were leading at the time, the game was hardly a forgone conclusion. But why else would Mets fans tune in?

4. Ignore Statistical Accuracy - This one is not directed towards the broadcast team and is a little rarer.  But in Tuesday's game, SNY was guilty of blatantly showing inaccurate stats on the game, for several minutes. Below is a screen grab during Jose Reyes' at bat in the sixth inning. At the time, the score was 5-0, there was one out, and it was actually the bottom of the sixth. However, SNY displayed 8-0, no one out, and the top of the seventh for the entire at bat.

There are certainly more rules that New York commentators adhere to that are absolutely ridiculous. They all came together in a medley of disgraceful broadcasting on Tuesday night. For such a big market, it's surprising that New York teams (even the Mets) cannot afford higher quality media representatives. As Meech would say, LOLMETS!

When Rivalries Go Wrong

It's been a while since my last post, as I have adjusted to dealing with New Yorkers.  It's not easy.  Spending a whole day commuting and working with them takes a lot out of you.  Normally I take about an hour each night just isolating myself from their point of view.

And while it has been exciting to plot my next post to revel in the Mets' recent (and predictable) tumble from the top of the NL East, I have opted to forgo that topic.  At least for now.  Instead, I look toward the media machine that habitually hypes rivalry games between New York sports teams and their foes.

In this particular instance, I take a look at the most notorious of all rivalries, the Yankees against the Red Sox.  If ever there were two teams that were built for such a bitter feud, it's these two.  But if you're reading my blog, then you are a sophisticated enough fan to already know their back story.  Tonight, the two open a quick two-game series in the Bronx that is being billed as a potential playoff preview.

I will take this moment to remind you that it's mid-May.

I am the biggest fan of baseball and passionately miss the sport for half the year.  When the season comes, I watch every game and scrutinize the details of every pitch.  But aren't spring baseball games meant to be a little more, well, fun?  A lesson I learned early on is that you'll wear yourself out if you try to make every game feel like a playoff game.  It's a long season.

One Yankees fan I know even lamented that these types of rivalries have impeded on his other interests.  With the NBA and NHL playoffs in full swing, he was hoping to catch some games at the restaurant where he bartends.

"Oh man, I hope the Yankees and Red Sox aren't playing this week."

"Why not, I thought you were a Yankees fan?" I asked.

"No one will ever let me even check the score of the hockey games," he said.

"I'm sure you can catch it on the ticker."

"It's just not the same.  It's like people have to watch the games, even though they really don't care."

"Don't you care though?" I mused.

"Sure I do, but at what price?"

His point is right.  I don't suggest that we abandon baseball until the meaningful games.  I probably won't even watch the other sports this week, myself.  But it's almost disheartening to see such hype over a rivalry to manufacture interest in the sport.  It's almost like the fans feign more of an interest than they really have.  Do Yankees fans really care if they are playing the Red Sox or the Athletics?  I think all that fans should really care about is that their team wins.

Jump to Conclusions Mets

Before watching the Phillies and Mets do battle over the weekend, I was watching one of my all-time favorite movies, Office Space.  And one of the scenes in the movie made me think of one of the most endearing qualities of New York fans, especially the Mets fans.

Ever since the Mets started resembling more of a baseball team again, it seems like all of their fans have come out of hiding.  I can't fault them for their lack of interest in a subpar team, as I would be less cavalier about the Phillies if they were awful.  But what can be said about many Mets fans, especially those that I know personally, is that they love to jump to conclusions.

One of their favorite players to get behind is Mike Pelfrey, the embattled starting pitcher, who is fresh off a season in which his ERA was north of 5.00.  Still, the big right-hander has had a solid start to the season, which has led some to anoint him as the co-ace of their staff.  Even before the Phillies lit him up, I disagreed with this opinion.

But the Mets fans are eager to forget the days when they wanted to be the 'team to beat.'  Even back in 2007, it seemed like the New Yorkers struggled for originality.  So it got me to thinking, what original thoughts might be on a Mets' Jump to Conclusions Mat, in light of their recent success.  Fortunately for me, I didn't have to think of anything witty or creative; the Mets fans handled that for me.  The following are some original quotes that I have heard or overheard from Mets fans this year:

"The Mets already have this division [National League East] locked up, it's no contest."

"Ike Davis reminds me of Adrian Gonzalez.  In fact, he might already be better than him."

"[Jerry] Manuel is doing such a great job without much talent.  He has to win Manager of the Year."

"You'd be hard-pressed to find a better one-two combination than Santana-Pelfrey."

"Looks like we're headed to another Subway Series!"

Now I had planned on rebutting some of those remarks, both to their authors and here on this blog.  But really, there isn't much to say.  It's great to support your team and have confidence.  And I'm excited that perhaps there will be a rivalry again.  But for some reason, I just can't talk to a Mets fan without bursting into uncontrollable laughter.  I believe the square that Mets fans should be looking for is that big green one in the middle.

Think again.